Ironically, Carter wouldn't have made this team if it hadn't been for the assistance of a certain John Kay. Also ironically, the man for whom Carter kept the bench warm for years was Tony Norman who is now a copper and could arrest this team for any further crimes - if he makes it off his thin blue line. Anyway, during the now legendary infamous night out in Exeter, Carter left John Kay, who was about to go mental in a nightclub. Later in the evening when Carter was in a taxi back to the team's hotel with Gordon Armstrong, they passed Kaysie being chased by an angry mob down the seafront. The blond one opened the door whilst at full speed and Kay leapt head first into the taxi to make his getaway. Unfortunately for Carter, he was taken in for questioning as an accessory when the police burst into the team hotel in the dead of night

Moving swiftly on to the man himself, the Godfather of Sunderland. John Kay's antics both on and off the pitch could take up a good four pages of this magazine. In fact we've already done that, so we'll concentrate on the incident before his amazing taxi dive and subsequent arrest. After winding up various blokes in the aforementioned Exeter nightclub, Kay was chased from it by the aforementioned angry mob. Choosing a fairly obvious getaway technique of legging it down the street seems fair enough, except for Kaysie. It just wasn't mad enough for him. Kaysie chose instead to run down the street over the top of a long line of parked cars. Outstanding behaviour, not that the car owners would agree. Or the Police.

In comparison to John Kay, the owner of Wearside's worst haircuts is just a wannabe hellraiser. Mickey's last effort of pissing in the street is chicken feed compared to running over cars. Mickey did create infamy for himself earlier though by getting plastered and, in typical footballer fashion, driving home. The most bizarre thing was that his dad tried to take the rap for it. To summarize: beer makes you do mad things, but families are just generally mad anyway.

Class player, absolute gent and as cool as an eskimo with hypothermia. Benno's off the field antics were always guaranteed to raise eyebrows as the Sunderland Echo 'exclusive' about his wrangles with DNA tests and the Child Support Agency proved. Benno's big law breaking moment though, was when he was collared by the coppers for what was practically a contractual agreement for early nineties centre halves - drink driving. What sets Benno apart from the rest is his antics when arrested. He proceeded to hit a female copper, who hit his lass, and then went on to stott a taxi driver who crashed into him. 'You're nicked sir, nice suit.'

Mr Holloway gets into the team anyway because he has a prison named after him, but a mate of mine who used to work in Talltrees tells me that Darren spent one particular night in the club feeling peoples Haases (female I presume) until one bloke took offence and a fracas ensued involving clubbers, bouncers and eventually the police.