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ALS misfits XI (part 2)
so sh*t we had to name them twice again

     
 

Just when you thought it was safe to read your favourite fanzine without the fear of experiencing some of those truly awful memories of the recent past, they’re back! Yes, due to popular demand, or in the case of some of the names listed here, unpopular demand, a 2 nd XI of Sunderland Misfits have been selected. After all, it’s only fair that the 1 st XI should be accompanied by a second string of nearly men who failed to make the grade on Wearside. The players included aren’t necessarily crap, but for one reason or another, failed to cut the mustard in a red and white shirt. So, let us once more take a head first stumble down memory lane in the hope that the next twenty years deliver the success Sunderland deserves and not the type of mismanagement graphically illustrated before your very eyes.

Goalkeeper: Alec Chamberlain

chambermaid

Technically recruited as a ‘Bosman’ signing long before anyone had ever heard o Jon-Marc Bosman as that ‘shrewd cookie’ Terry Butcher stole Chamberlain away from Luton Town on a free transfer before Chamberlain had agreed to sign a new contract with his former club. Therefore Sunderland did not have to fork out the estimated £500,000 for his services. Despite this however, Chamberlain could never be described as a good acquisition for Sunderland. A fair shot stopper with a fear for crosses, Chamberlain is responsible for conceding one of the softest goals ever scored at Roker Park when his attempted up field clearance was charged down by wolves striker Mike Small which resulted in the ball ending up in the back of the net. Now there is a thought – whatever happened to Mike Small?

Right Back: Paul Williams

williams

A true misfit both on and off the pitch. On the pitch his career never recovered after he deputised for the suspended John Kay at Old Trafford, January 1991. The then Sunderland boss Denis Smith hailed Williams “As the best right back in the Central League – he is the first player written on my teamsheet for Old Trafford.” He was also the first player to be substituted at Old Trafford after 45 tortuous minutes against Lee Sharpe in which Sunderland trailed 3-0 at the interval. Prior to being victim to this awful team selection, Williams had gained notoriety – and a night in police custody for joining John Kay for a dance on the top of a parked car in Exeter City Centre after Sunderland’s 2-2 draw against Exeter in the League Cup in 1989. Williams later teamed up with former Sunderland Assistant Boss Frank Burrows at Swansea.

Left Back: Alan Kennedy

oh my god they've killed kennedy

One of the numerous over 30’s signed by Lawrie ‘The Big Fella’ McMenemy, whose transfer policy ensured he turned Roker Park into a retirement home for old aged footballers. Among Lawrie’s not so Golden Oldies were George Burley, Dave Swindlehurst, Keith Bertschin and Steve Hetzke. Kennedy joined Lawrie’s banks of merry, old men when he was signed for a then hefty £120,000 from Liverpool in the autumn of 1985. Within three months he had lost his first team place and despite one vintage display against Carlisle United, where he scored a long-range screamer, proved to be a largely worthless recruit, well past his best.

Centre Half: David Corner

corner shop

Due to the suspension of Shaun Elliot, David Corner at 18 and with only four first team starts to his name was drafted into the Milk Cup Final team to satisfy Len Ashurst’s habitual addiction of playing with a five man defensive sweeper system. The rest they say in the trade is history. Only to say I wish he’d put that bloody ball in row 2! Despite carving out a career in the lower leagues at Leyton Orient, Darlington and finally in the conference at Gateshead, sadly David Corner will always be remembered for that mistake at Wembley. Was never popular with us after he attacked ALS gaffer, Martyn McFadden, in fino’s after Corner’s lass threw her drink all over Martyn. The ginger haired one somehow decided this wasn’t her fault and had to be pulled away by Gordon Armstrong and Tim Carter.

Centre Half: Nigel Saddington

sad

Little known defender from Doncaster signed by Lawrie McMenemy, who described him as “A lad with a great future in the game.” Unsurprisingly then he remained unheard of after being released by Denis Smith a couple of years later.

Centre Midfield: Shaun Cunnington

knackered

Midfield grafter with a decent eye for goal – he in fact scored eight times during the 1992/93 season. Unfortunately Cunnington suffered from three problems. Firstly he was ridiculously overpriced – at £650,000 he was close to the then club record fee paid for any Sunderland player. Secondly he was overhyped, yes that “He’s a better player than Platt” classic from Bobby Ferguson. Finally, he was hopelessly injury prone, in fact he must remain the only footballer in the history of the game to suffer serious ankle ligament damages after twisting his ankle walking off the pitch after being substituted, an injury sustained in the ‘prestigious’ Anglo-Italian Cup against Tranmere in 1993.

Right Wing: Steve Gaughaun

steve

Sunderland’s very own invisible man. Gaughaun is believed to have stalked the corridors of Roker Park, a ghost like figure, never getting near to the first team start. Signed on a free from Doncaster, his then manager, the late Billy Bremner, claimed he could have sold Gaughaun to Notts forest for a £1 million fee, months before his move to Sunderland…but he did not. We never found out why. Gaughaun moved on to Darlington two years after his arrival at Sunderland in the summer of 1990 for a “nominal fee”

Centre midfield: Ian Bowyer

old man river

Signed for a massive £250,00 in January 1981 by Ken Knighton on the recommendation of his then Assistant Manger Frank Clark. A man John Gibson once claimed pulled more birds than George Best during his time at Newcastle, even though in later years Clark was described by sky TV’s football comic Bob Mills as having the facial expression of a “Bassett Dog which had just swallowed a wasp.” As for Bowyer he was sold back to Forest for £45,000 a year later. Proving again how only Brian Clough could get the very best out of ordinary players.

Centre forward: Tom Ritchie

mistake

Ken Knighton final buy as Sunderland Boss costing a very expensive £140,000 from Bristol City in January 1981. Ritchie then proceeded to go ten first team games without a goal before ending his drought with a hat trick against Birmingham City- the game which immediately followed the sacking of Ken Knighton as team boss. Apart from this quirk of fate Ritchie was remembered for little other than returning to Bristol City in a cut price deal a year later.

Inside Forward: Chris Byrne

Plucked out of obscurity by Peter Reid from Macclesfield the youngster is remembered as the one Sunderland player to be ruled out of a senior game on the grounds that he had been arrested before kick-off, a crisis which occurred before Sunderland’s Coca Cola Cup tie at Bury last season. His arrest, during a complex Manchester murder enquiry, led to a press field day of sleaze allegations regarding Sunderland players as Sunderland AFC crawled through September 1997 resembling the footballing equivalent of the John Major Government at the height of the Back To Basics/sleaze fiasco. Unlike John Major Sunderland survived its “crisis” stronger for the experience. Byrne however did not-at least in the footballing sense. He was transferred to Stockport several months later.

Outside Left: Barry Dunn

dunn dunn dunn dunn

Just less that twenty years ago the then Chairman of Tow Law Football Club recommended that Sunderland take their left winger on a week’s trail. They did. Ken Knighton told him to forget all about football –suggesting the youngster would never make it at any level. Several Months later Bill McGarry signed the obscure winger for Newcastle- he paid no fee. He made his debut for Newcastle United in late 1980. He later fulfilled his boyhood dream of playing for Sunderland, but by then it was too late. The year was 1997, he was 35, his name was Chris Waddle, maintained his faith in Barry Dunn, a winger form Blue Star. Dunn was later transferred to Darlington.

(First appeared in issue 78 of ALS 98/99 season)

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