This pocket sized book contains the story of the world’s greatest game squeezed into 90 minutes. This is the story of football as it’s never been told before; a cock-eyed compilation of skewed match reports, spoof correspondence and quirky cartoons.

From pancake-tossing feudal villagers indulging in a Shrovetide game of kick-and-rush to modern-day teenage millionaires swallow-diving in the penalty area, football’s glory nights, historic howlers and outrageous bungs are entertainingly recalled.

Out of the 90 mini stories told in the book my favourite lies in the 68 th minute. Here’s what happened:

In 1975/76, the Football Association’s Match Committee suggested players who ‘kissed and cuddled’ after a goal was scored should be charged with bringing the game into disrepute. Favouring a stiff handshake themselves, the uptight old codgers wanted to deny fans the chance to see their heroes writhing in post-goal ecstasy. Happily, other members of the FA more comfortable with their sexuality rejected the proposal as ‘impracticable’, and the players remained free to express their beautiful love any which way they pleased.

It’s just a quick reminder of how stupid the FA were back then, never mind nowadays. However some of the FA bigwigs seemed to have an ounce of sense in them and agreed that this was totally pathetic. What would happen nowadays if players weren’t allowed to perform stripe teases and throw their shirt in the crowd if they scored? Oh right their not. Bring back the passion and bring back the love I say.

Anyways moving on from my personal vendetta of the rights of footballers, this book is perfect for on the bus, on the plane or anywhere were you are sat bored shitless wishing your life away. Enjoy.

Book courtesy of Catherine Duncan at Carlton Books.
www.carltonbooks.co.uk

James Henderson

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