As with any book review I could basically just write out the blurb and no one would be none the wiser. But I found this to be quite entertaining and before I knew it, I had finished it.

The Three Legends is an account of Century FM’s show of the same name. Basically it does exactly what it says on the tin and tells the story behind the phone-in. The book begins with all three telling the stories of their lives, with Eric Gates the one of obvious interest. He gives a detailed account of his career as a footballer and a commentator and recalls an interesting meeting with then chairman, Bob Murray, and how his commentary with Metro Radio was ended in harsh circumstances. You have permission to miss out page 53 to 102 (It’s only Bernie and Malcolm’s story).

Then the trio give their verdict on their clubs’ ‘Legends ‘n’ Leg-ends’, with Malcolm and Bernie obviously having shit loads to say about the latter. Eric gives a damning verdict on Sunderland, with the words ‘Typical bloody Sunderland’ used a lot. All three comment on the trio of North-east clubs and give their opinions and where each has gone wrong (seeing as they rarely go right) and what the future holds.

The final third of the book is devoted to those disillusioned, pissed-off fans who ring in and complain about their team’s shitness. It features page after page of cynicism, pessimism and disheartenment, with the usual Geordie dick-head having his say about sod all and the Smoggy snot who thinks Middlesbrough’s average attendance of three men and his dog shows the club is moving forwards.

It definitely makes great reading. As I always say, the thing that differentiates Sunderland from the other two jokers in this region, apart from its better football, better living conditions and overall better people, is that we realise when we’re shit. The number of goons in this book who have rung in bewildered at why Middlesbrough lost again and why Newcastle is constantly under-achieving can’t fail to make you laugh.

Obviously I have to recommend that you buy the book; I wouldn’t be a good salesman if I didn’t so… I recommend that you buy the book. There you go, it’s as easy as Bobby Robson tying his shoelace.